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It works!

November 21, 2010

The other day I used one of the skills I learned from the “Preventing Power Struggles” audio set I got from loving guidance. I never in a million years thought it would work and so easily! Here is how it played out.

After lunch we have quiet time. We have this everyday and some days Hayden just does not want to do it. In fact some days he does not want to do anything I ask him too. This was one of those days, we just got our hands washed and faces cleaned up and I told him to go pick out some books, grab his blanket and go lay in bed for quiet time. Most days he will pout about quiet time, but do what I ask.

Today, I knew he was going to put up a fight. There were many factors that were working against me. One, he usually has preschool on this day but because of Veterans day there was no class (schedule was disrupted). Two, he was up the night before because he got scared in the night (not enough sleep) and three I would not let him watch cartoons all morning (just plain old not fair!). There were many things that were already stressing him out, and then I had the gall to ask him to go lay in his bed for quiet time! I could see the melt down coming and was preparing myself for what I knew was going to be a tantrum of my own, when suddenly it hit me. Give two positive choices to get them to do what you want, one of the skills just came to mind. so I tried it, I asked him, ” do you want to hop like a bunny or ride on my back to your bed?” he smiled really big and chose to hop like a bunny, which ultimately turned into a race, but I got what I wanted!

Hayden acting like a monster (one of the choices)

I have tried to do this as much as possible and am amazed at how well it is working. I switch up the choices, so it is not boring and try to do things that he does not expect. This keeps him interested and active in the “game”, also known as Mom avoiding a power struggle! I’m going to continue to carry out the skills that I have learned. I know I will not be able to change overnight, but I am going to try for the sake of my kids!

what a scary monster!

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 21, 2010 7:31 pm

    I used to give Adeline choices (after reading Parenting with Love and Logic- which I wasn’t very fond of) but she would often refuse to pick an option, or just make up her own option! After reading Playful Parenting (yes, I realize this is like the third time I’ve mentioned this book — I really love it!) I realized I was giving her the wrong options. They need to be creative and fun ones, like your examples. Using play makes everything better! I just love reading your posts on parenting. You are such a good, mindful mama. And it’s great to hear what works for other parents — you can never have too much ammunition in your parenting arsenal, I say!

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