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Not just a stay-at-home mom

April 4, 2013

When Hayden was in Preschool I went on a class field trip with a bunch of other mothers. Elliot was just a baby at the time so I did not volunteer much in the classroom. We were excited to spend this time at the zoo with his classmates and their parents.  At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom of two boys, one was 4 years old and the other about 10 months old. They both were at an age where they kept me pretty busy maintaining my home and them. A bunch of the mothers and I were standing around talking about motherly things when we got on the subject of work. They all had jobs outside of the home, and had asked me what I did for work. I responded with the usual I’m a stay-at home mom and I work one weekend a month for my previous place of employment to do books and such.  One of the mothers said to me (and I will never forget this), “well that’s okay that you don’t work lots of people don’t work. It must be nice to stay home all day.”IMG_7020

They looked at me as if a stay-at-home was not a REAL job. To this day I still feel like people think that my career choice is not really a career or a waste of my education. I went to college, got a B.S. but chose to stay home to be with my children. When in society did we start believing that in order to “have it all” we had to have the stress of a well paying job, raising a family and keeping a home? It doesn’t make me a slave to my husband and children to stay home. I am the one who makes many decisions about or home and our family.  Why does leaving the home make a job a REAL CAREER and mine just something I do to pass the time? Sure there is no salary and very rarely am I given a pat on the back or a bonus check for a job well done, but I do still work! My work is continuous and is not left at the office.  My JOB is here, is lived in and is my life. It is what I get up for each morning and the smile (or sometimes the frown) on my face each night. It is my family and the home that I am making. 

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People who think my JOB is not real work, need to try it for a week. Have you ever tried to have a coherent thought while continuously being interrupted? Home making is like trying to write a professional e-mail or figure out a solution to a problem, but constantly having your phone ringing and having to answer a million questions from customers and employees. Making supper while planning your next meal and keeping your kids entertained. A continuous cycle of multitasking that quite frankly can be exhausting!   That is what running a home is like. You have a million things to do, but a lot of distraction keeping you from your goal.

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Some days I feel like I am on my feet all day, running after children, getting them dressed, fed, changed, keeping them happy and busy, keeping them safe all while trying to maintain my home (and my sanity). Most days it looks like I have done nothing, like I may have sat on my butt all day allowing my children to ransack the house. It may look like that, but it is not the truth. Most days, I am caring for my children (there basic needs and more), cleaning & organizing, cooking, & trying to better myself as a parent & person through reading and researching. Sure I do other things like look at Facebook and waste time playing games on my kindle…but I’m sure many of you do that at your jobs too 😉_MG_7389

Although my job as a homemaker is crazy busy and my four little “helpers” make my job so much harder than most careers, it is all I have ever wanted to do. Now that I have children that want to be with them is even stronger. I tried to go back to work when Elliot was 1 year old but I only lasted a few months before I made the decision to stay home. The birth of our twins has helped insure my position in our “company” for at least another 5 years!

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Many things about staying home are challenging and some days I think it would just be easier to go to job and drop my kids off in childcare. Even if it would be easier I know that I would never be content in that decision.  I’m not trying to say I’m better than the mother who works out of the home I just feel it is better for us. Less stress for Mama having to juggle a career out side the home while also trying to maintain everyone’s schedules and our home (also so much less mama guilt). It is a no brainer! Where mothers who work out of the home are rewarded with raises and recognition; I am rewarded with moments: moments of firsts &  lasts, moments of tears & fears, moments of triumphs & loss, moments of happiness & sadness, moments that I will always remember and moments my children will always remember when I have forgotten. That there is the best payment. A life that I can be proud of!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 8, 2013 10:01 am

    Beautifully put, Kim! I have many of the same thoughts on a regular basis!

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