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How I learned about love

November 7, 2013

Growing up, I always thought that love was a very strong “feeling” you had for someone or something. It was also something you said to someone to make them feel close to you or make them feel good. As I have matured I have learned that is not what love is at all! Love is not a feeling or an emotion it is an action. It is something you do, it is the verb of a sentence and something that you give. The story of a girl called “P” and a guy called “R” is the best representation to me of what love truly is. Their story goes something like this…

P & R met at a dance when they were in high school. P’s older sister introduced them and they hit it off right away. R was a senior and P was a junior and they liked each other so much that they began dating. R graduated and went off to college and the year after that P graduated and went to a different college. The distance was hard on them so P transferred schools to be close to R, this was a good move. When they were 19 and 20 they got married and finished college. They started a family and had three kids, a boy and two girls. All this time, through the ups and downs they were by each others sides. They raised there kids and worked together like a team. Sure they had their spats and problems every life has its ups and downs but P & R would not let the stresses of life ruin them.

This Love was not always expressed in a vocal way, but in the little things. Doing something nice for the other to make them smile, holding hands in public even when their teenagers were embarrassed, cuddling together on the couch and talking about the day. Little things that we easily take for granted and don’t even realize are signs of love. Everyday things that most people do not notice except for the person receiving the attentions. Giving of yourself to make the other happy…that is true love.

P & R’s love was really put to the test when R was diagnosed with a genetic kidney disease.  His kidneys were shot and he was in need of a transplant. P did not even think twice about giving this gift to her husband. She gave him a kidney a few weeks before their 28th wedding anniversary. P’s surgery was the minor of the two, yet the first thing R asked when he woke from his surgery was  how is P doing. He had to call her room to hear her voice and know that she was okay. That is love, giving of yourself to make the other happy and receiving that love even when you are scared and vulnerable. Love is being vulnerable with someone and allowing them to know all of you without fear of harm from them.

Both did well and continued with their lives. Doing, giving and living for each other and their family. Fast forward eight years, R’s kidneys are failing again. Doctors are baffled as to why they cannot slow this disease. R needs another kidney and P does not have one to give. Their children cannot donate for fear that they may have the disease as well. In steps love in the form of P’s younger sister. She volunteers to be a living donor without any hesitation. P’s sister is willing to put herself on the line for the love she has for her sister and brother-in-law. Love is an amazing action, it is given and received and given again. It is not selfish and thinks only of the others happiness. Love is a verb, not an emotion.

P’s older sister introduced them and one of P’s younger sisters is trying to keep them together. My existence is thanks to that older sister and my knowledge of love is thanks to not only P & R but to P’s younger sister. Love is an action that you choose to give or keep to yourself. What are YOU going to choose?

Please keep P, R and P’s sister in your prayers for their upcoming surgery.

“Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable”
-Henry Ward Beecher


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